A controversial operation to extract a well-heeled foot from controversial Tory peer Lord Howell’s mouth has been given the go-ahead by the government.
The senior Tory’s facial orifice – which has been accused of triggering several major earthquakes in the Tory Party recently – is to be allowed to resume producing gas and hot air but with the proviso that if it results in even the smallest seismic tremors there should be an immediate shutdown of the Tory lord.
The announcement comes not long after an independent report recommended that extraction of urine by the coalition government from the general population should be expanded to include the whole of the UK.
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